Rejected!

Like my daughter and infant granddaughter did last month, (see the 1 December 2008 entry: "The Youngest Juror??"), I reported for jury duty this week. It began bright and early yesterday morning in downtown Los Angeles. It was, of course, our coldest morning of the year. (I cannot tell you how cold it was because those of you who live where there is "real winter" would hang me by my heels from the nearest leafless tree!)

Despite my advanced age, I have never served on a jury. Back in the day when I was a young school teacher here in California, teachers were automatically excused from jury duty. That was followed by 21 years being an Army wife, while still legally being a California resident. I remember the first time I got a jury duty summons after reporting in at Ft. Campbell, KY. I was sorely tempted to write, "I'll come and serve on your jury, if you'll pay my transportation home!" But alas, I chickened out and simply wrote, "Active duty military family member." What a wimp!

Although I have received a jury summons 5 times since returning to SoCal, for the first three (which were to the Courthouse in Pasadena, about 4 blocks from our office at Fuller and maybe 5 blocks from our condo), I never actually had to go in at all. The last time I got a jury summons, as happened this time, it was for the Los Angeles court system, and I got to hop on the Metro and go explore the big, bad world of downtown Los Angeles.

Yesterday was the first time I had actually gotten as far as a courtroom. Thirty-two of us were sent to one courtroom for the jury selection process. I found this experience in our judicial system absolutely fascinating. My training (ie "Law & Order" and other similar series) helped me know, of course, what to expect, but the real thing is more interesting . . . and oddly, it is also way more boring. The judicial system has borrowed something from the military. It's called "Hurry up & wait!"

This was a case involving personal violence . . . and the defendant was a young Asian man. I sat there debating whether it was pertinent information for them to know that I was the mother of an Asian child. Did that matter? How does one know?

There was a point in the process where I requested a side bar in response to one particular question, and I took that opportunity to slip in the fact that my son is Asian, ". . . if that is pertinent to this case," said I. I felt better having let them know, since I assumed that perhaps the prosecution would think I might be biased in favor of the defendant.

Today, we got to the point of dismissing or selecting jurors. In addition to knowing that one of my children is Asian, the judge and attorneys also knew that my husband is a retired U.S. Army chaplain, and that I now work as an administrative assistant for a ministry organization.

After returning from her conclave with the attorneys to discuss their final input on jurors, the judge dismissed 3 jurors . . . but not me. So far, so good! I was beginning to get into this judicial system thing, and after all these years of living, I'd decided it would be fascinating to see this process through to the end.

The attorney for the defendant dismissed one person . . . and then the prosecutor dismissed someone . . . the attorney for the defendant dismissed another person . . . and then the prosecutor said, "Your honor, the prosecution is satisfied with the jury as it stands."

"Whee!", thought I. "I'm going to get to serve on this jury." But alas the defendant's attorney had one more peremptory strike and he said, "Juror #8 can be dismissed." Sadly, I was Juror #8.

I do not know, nor will I ever know, why he chose to dismiss me. Was it because I was the oldest female potential juror? But why would that matter? Was it because I was one of what I think was only two female jurors with a college education? But why would education be a detriment? (The other woman with a college education, however, was NOT in the juror's box but was considerably farther down the numeric line -- like #23. She happened to be a lawyer, actually.)

Was I dismissed because I was a Christian -- wife of a retired chaplain, currently working in a ministry? Or was I dismissed because I had an Asian child . . . and would that matter?

Neil and I talked last night, wondering if the prosecution would dismiss me, assuming that I would potentially be biased for a young Asian man, but it was the lawyer for the defense who chose to cut me out of the corral, so to speak.

Of course, I think it was his gravest mistake of the trial, but he'll never know that. He will never know that as I sat there thinking the whole thing through, I wondered how hard it would be for this mom's heart to say, "Guilty!" regarding this young Asian man. I believe I could have listened to the facts and voted fairly, but I knew it wouldn't be easy.

Perhaps God knew how difficult it would be to listen to what could be pretty rough and rocky details regarding this young man and his victim, so He protected me by allowing me to be rejected.

It makes me wonder, of course, about this young attorney and how he could NOT understand that a mother's heart could well have held that possibility of being a bit softer and more compassionate towards his client, the heart of a mother with a son similar in culture and age. It saddened me to realize that, for whatever reason, he simply did not understand.

Christmas Family Pictures

Just before Great-Grandma Frey was hospitalized two days after Christmas (see the "Happy New Year - 2009!" entry), she got to meet Trisha Lynn and see Jon, Christy, and David.



Holding Trisha Lynn was a thrill for G'Grandma Frey, of course! Here's the 93-year-old with her almost 7-week-old newest great-granddaughter.




Of course, Neil (aka Grampy or Papa) enjoyed holding those precious grandbabies, too!






Rich was the photographer for this last-minute picture taken before David scooted out the door to catch Amtrak back to San Diego, so he's not in the family picture this year.

Thus, I'm adding one of the brothers-in-law, which I love!

Christmas -- and Cinnamon Rolls!!

Almost a month has passed since Christmas, and it is about time that I posted some of our family pictures from that special time. If you read the last blog entry "Happy New Year!", you know something about the unexpected journey we had through the Christmas season with Neil's mother.

In the midst of that challenging time, we also had many blessings. Being together was at the top of that list. Having Atherton there for us to provide a room for Neil's mother in skilled nursing right when she needed it was way up there, too!


It's always great fun to have David (and usually Mea, who we so missed this Christmas) come during the holidays and have time with Chris, Rich, Jon, and now Trisha . . . and with us, of course!! This was Uncle David's first chance to meet his little niece, Trisha Lynn.


Other than being together, enjoying the Christmas story as we begin our Christmas festivities, doing Christmas stockings (probably the favorite Christmas tradition for all of us), exchanging gifts, and eating, the other big family tradition is the making of homemade cinnamon rolls. Originally, this was a New Year's tradition, but a few years ago, David & Chris asked, "Mom, where are the cinnamon rolls?"

My response, "It's not New Year's yet," received their comeback, "But we're not going to be together on New Year's!" I think the hidden (?) message was: we like homemade cinnamon rolls!! So whenever we're all together during the Christmas/New Year's time, we make cinnamon rolls.

When I say "we", what I really mean is Grammy and the grandbabies. Although the cinnamon roll tradition began years and years ago, the "Grammy and Grandbabies" tradition began when Mea was very little. We would pull a kitchen step-stool up so she could reach the counter, and Mea and I would make cinnamon rolls at night, wildly anticipating a yummy breakfast treat in the morning.

When Jon arrived on the scene, he was added to this Christmas tradition. Actually, last year I realized that doing this with Mea (then 8) and the "help" of a two-year-old necessitated extra adult hands, so Christy joined us as well. Here's a picture of the four of us a year ago, Christmas 2007:



In Mea's absence this year, Jon and I did most of this task,


adding Trisha and Christy as supervisors, although next year Trisha will play a more active roll in the cinnamon roll process:





Believe me when I say that baking with my babies (and grandbabies) is sheer joy! The final results -- in this case fresh, homemade cinnamon rolls for breakfast -- is wonderful, too, but it's the "doing it together" that makes this so special.

Happy New Year -- 2009!!

In the distance, I can hear the bands warming up for the Rose Parade. It's about time to be heading out for Colorado Blvd and the incredible, amazing Rose Parade here in Pasadena. It passes by just two blocks north of our condo, but for the first time in our 12 (as of today) New Years Day celebrations in Pasadena, we're sadly not going to go view the Rose Parade in person. I'm fighting a cold, and even tho it's sunny, clear and 50 (and will be over 70 later in the day), standing for 2-3 hours outside early this morning doesn't sound like a very sound decision.

This has been a bit of a week. Some of you know that on Christmas Eve afternoon Neil's 93-year-old mother was put into skilled nursing for observation at Atherton Baptist Homes, where she normally resides in assisted living. She was very confused, congested, and not walking normally.

On Saturday late afternoon, while David, Chris and family, and we were preparing for our belated Christmas dinner, Atherton called to say they were transporting Mom Frey to the hospital.

Long story short, she has gone down hill quite quickly, with her memory challenges and continuing confusion. The fluid on her lungs and inflammation are now things of the past, thankfully, but she is unable to live in assisted living any longer.

Yesterday, Neil and I checked out the only private skilled nursing room available at Atherton, accepted it for Mom, and quickly moved her recliner, dressers, and a few family pictures for the walls, preparing her room for when she came back from the hospital, before Neil headed back to the hospital to be with his mother and I returned home to help a friend and house guest with a move. Are we ever glad we did as yesterday afternoon, the hospital decided to release Mom and transport her back home.

Mom Frey is now in her very own, brand-new room at Atherton Baptist Homes. Still confused, we pray that as she adjusts to her new environment, the confusion will abate, at least somewhat. After all, she's slept in three different places this week -- a shared skilled nursing room at Atherton, the hospital, and now her own but new skilled nursing room in another wing of Atherton. She did recognize her belongings and the pictures, which was really wonderful.

Tomorrow and Saturday, Leonard & Linda Frey (Neil's brother and his wife) will join us at Mom's assisted living apartment, and we'll begin the task of sorting and deciding what to do with the things that do not fit into her new little room. It will be a bittersweet task.

Life is a journey -- some parts of it much more pleasant and enjoyable than others, but we get through it all by the grace of God, depending on Him for wisdom in decision-making and for strength to do what has to be done. We are grateful for a loving, faithful God who is always with us and for Atherton Baptist Homes and the great facility and care they provide when our elderly loved ones need way more help than we can give them.

By the way, as I sat watching Mom Frey sleep at the hospital the other day, I realized that I've been married to her son for 42 years, and this is the first time she has ever been in the hospital. Pretty remarkable, eh?

This New Year 2009 is not starting exactly as we'd anticipated, nor did 2008 end as we thought it would, but we are grateful that God has worked out details in all things . . . throughout our lives, not just recently!!

Happy New Year 2009 -- and may God walk with you, and you with Him, throughout this brand new year!